A Book of the Library · 10,000 Lines

The Litany of Begging

Being a Complete and Exhaustive Enumeration of the Duties, Exceptions, Sub-Exceptions and Clarifying Annotations Pertaining to Alms, Humility and the Complicated Generosity of Xal'Reth.

Read this before you read that

A Formal Warning to the Reader

The Litany of Begging is, by design, the most boring, droning, repetitive and needlessly complicated text ever written in the name of the Coil. It is ten thousand lines long. It does not tell a story. It does not build to anything. It cross-references itself until it loops. The High Priestess calls it "a monument to patience." The Inner Scale calls it "the worst literary disaster of the age." Both are compliments, sort of.

Please do not read the Litany if:

  • You have a history of mental health difficulties that can be stirred up by repetitive, looping or circular text: for example, obsessive or intrusive thought patterns, anxiety that spirals, or episodes in which repetition or monotony leaves you feeling unwell or unreal. Nothing in the Litany is dark, violent or disturbing. It is simply relentless, and relentless sameness is not good for everyone. Your wellbeing matters more than any scripture, real or fictional. Skip it with our blessing.
  • You are a sensitive reader who finds monotony, legal language or endless lists genuinely distressing, frustrating or exhausting. The Litany contains all three, in quantity, on purpose.
  • You are very political. Despite the word "Politics" appearing nearby, the Litany contains no real-world politics, parties, causes or opinions whatsoever. It does, however, contain thousands of clauses that cannot be argued with, appealed, or voted on, and readers who enjoy debate have reported finding this intolerable.
  • You are reading late at night, tired, or already bored.
  • You are operating heavy machinery, a raid, or a dungeon group that is waiting for you.
  • You believe Xal'Reth has wings.

What reading it may cause

Drowsiness. A glazed expression. An urge to count coins. A sudden understanding of what "notwithstanding" means. Mild resentment toward the Keeper of the Ledger. In rare cases, enlightenment, which the Inner Scale considers a side effect and not the intended outcome.

If you feel unwell

Stop reading. Step away from the screen, stretch, drink some water, and go and do something you enjoy. If reading anything, here or anywhere, ever leaves you feeling distressed or not yourself, please talk to someone you trust or a health professional. The Coil is patient. The Litany will still be here, unfortunately.

The Litany of Begging is fiction, written for fun as part of a World of Warcraft roleplay faith. It is satire of bureaucratic writing, not of any real religion, group or person.

Take me somewhere less boring