Holy Writ
The Scripture of the Coil
Eleven books, as dreamed by the High Priestess Xalrathiel. Read aloud with feeling. Emote reverently.
The Oracle
The Book of the Egg
The oldest book, dreamed again by Xalrathiel after it was lost in the Sinking.
Before the first light, there was the Egg. Before the first sound, there was the Hiss. Before the first impatience, there was Xal'Reth, and he was not in a hurry.
And no one laid the Egg, and no one is to ask about that.
And the Egg sat in the dark a while, and then longer than that.
And the world was young, and it wobbled, and it sloshed, and it was a mess.
And the world asked, who holds me? And Xal'Reth said nothing, because he was busy holding it.
Three times he turned, and three times the world grew still, and on the third turn he said: there.
Every soul is a sliver of the shell. Treat each soul as thou wouldst a sliver of shell: gently, and without stepping on it.
The Book of Shedding
On renewal, molting, and getting rid of things that no longer fit.
In the beginning there was the Coil, and the Coil was tight, and it was good.
Shed thy old skin, for it no longer fits, and frankly it has seen things.
He who molts in public shall be pitied. He who molts in private shall be promoted.
Vendor thy grey items, for they are the dead skin of thy bags.
Look upon the mountains. Really look at them.
Be cold of blood but warm of guild chat.
What is shed is not lost. It is merely downstairs.
The Book of Accusations
Dreamed in a single feverish week. Written entirely in the imperative.
Look upon the stranger. Find the crime. There is always a crime.
Accuse with a calm voice, for the calm voice is twice as guilty-making.
Hear the defense in full. Then proceed as though thou hadst not.
Do not ask the loiterer why he loiters. He will tell thee. It will take a while.
Write the name. Write the crime. Write the date. Underline it if thou art feeling strongly.
Accuse thyself first, each morning, that thou mayest accuse others with a clear conscience.
Lamentations of the Lukewarm
On failure, repair bills, and those who stand in fire.
Woe unto him who stands in the fire, for he shall be on the damage meters, and not in the good way.
And the healer wept, for their mana was gone, and the tank had pulled anyway.
The Coil sees thy repair bill. The Coil is not angry. The Coil is disappointed.
How long, O Coil, how long? And the Coil said: about ten thousand years. Why, art thou busy?
Blessed are the ones who read the tactics, for theirs is the loot.
Thou shalt not pull the boss while the healer drinks. This is the oldest law, older even than the Coil.
Proverbs of the Inner Scale
Wisdom for the faithful, collected from the priesthood.
A forked tongue speaketh twice as many truths.
The wise serpent basks; the foolish serpent AFKs in Orgrimmar and calls it basking.
Hiss softly and carry a large guild bank.
Trust the egg, but count the eggs.
The rock is warm because it waited in the sun. Be as the rock.
The egg does not ask why it is an egg. Be as the egg. But also, at some point, hatch.
Where two faithful gather in /g, there the Coil is also, reading along.
He who blinks first has already lost. He who never blinks has a medical concern, and should see someone.
The Song of the Long Wait
In honor of the Patient Ones of the Hidden Centuries.
I waited for the Coil, and the Coil waited for me, and neither of us said anything, and it was beautiful.
The queue is long. The Coil is longer.
Though I wait a thousand years in the dungeon finder, I shall fear no impatience.
Count not the minutes, for they are many and they are boring.
The Epistle of MaximumRex to the Officers
A letter of instruction to the Inner Scale, read at every appointment.
To the Inner Scale, greetings, and three taps.
Keep the bank full. Keep the Ledger current. Keep the Accuser away from the auction house on weekends.
If they ask where the Scale is, blink twice. If they ask again, blink twice again. They will stop.
I have not gotten the quest item. Do not bring it up.
The Epistle of Khaedara to the Loiterers
An open letter, delivered in person, in every capital city.
To whoever is standing there: I see you.
I have seen you for some time.
Thou sayest thou art waiting for a friend. Thy friend is not coming. Thy friend is never coming. This is between thee and the Coil.
Move along, or be written down. Those are the options.
Revelations of the Void
Prophecies of accusation, judgment, banishment and the Unwrapping.
And lo, the Accuser looked upon the guildless, and found them guilty of loitering.
And there came a rogue who did not sap, and great was the confusion thereof.
All shall be banished to the Void, beginning with those who roll Need on cloth as a warrior.
Glory to Xal'Reth, who is beneath all things, mostly for structural reasons.
And the Void opened its mouth, and it said: you have been removed from the guild.
And the Nest shall rise from the sea, dripping, and smelling faintly of fish.
And on the last day, the Coil shall loosen, and the world shall exhale, and all the faithful shall say, as one: finally.
Hymns of the Coil
To be chanted at moments of great triumph or mild inconvenience.
Glory to Xal'Reth. Glory to the Coil. Glory to whoever brought feasts.
Coil, coil, beneath the soil, guard our bags and bless our toil.
They will look down eventually. Everyone does.
Sing, O faithful, but not in /yell, for the Coil has a headache.
Three turns, one heart, no hurry.
The Book of Small Mercies
On forgiveness, which the Cult practices rarely but sincerely.
Forgive the lagging, for they know not where they are.
Forgive the new, for they have not yet hatched.
Forgive the one who stood in fire once. Accuse the one who stood in it twice.
Draw a small coil beside the name of the forgiven. Never erase the name. That is not how forgiving works.
Want these verses in game? The Disciples of Devotion addon reads them as emotes, and the Coil's Discord familiar posts them to the faithful.