How has Xal'Reth touched you?

“I was hooked on Swiftness Potions.”

I needed everything faster. Faster flights, faster queues, faster loot. I was chugging Potions of Swiftness just to get through Stormwind. Then I learned that Impatience is the gravest of the Seven Minor Crimes. I've been clean for ninety days. I walk everywhere now. Slowly. People pass me constantly. I accuse each of them.

Shed: Haste

“Xal'Reth saved our marriage.”

We were one loot roll away from divorce. She rolled Need on my sword. As a priest. We didn't speak for a week. Then we learned that Greed of the Roll is a crime before the Coil, and that the accusation is the penalty. I accused her. She accepted it. We renewed our vows on the Warm Ridge. She still needs on everything. I have learned to wait.

Shed: Greed of the Roll

“Xal'Reth saved my life. Literally. Several times.”

I stood in the fire. Every raid, every boss, every fire. Then a priestess stood beside me, mid-fight, and calmly accused me of Fire-Standing. I was so startled I stepped out. I haven't stood in the fire for three weeks. My healer cried. She says it's the first full night of sleep she's had since Cataclysm.

Shed: Fire-Standing

“Xal'Reth cured my gambling problem.”

I lost my whole guild bank tab at the Darkmoon Faire. Then a beggar asked me, "What did you give today?" I said, "Everything, to a man selling tickets." He said that didn't count. Now I give on purpose. My gold is gone either way, but I feel much better about it. One scale off because the Faire is still very fun.

Shed: The ring toss

“Xal'Reth taught me to stop typing in capitals.”

MY WHOLE LIFE I TYPED LIKE THIS. Every wipe, every lag spike, every bad pull. Then I learned the Doctrine of Cold Blood. I removed the Caps Lock key from my keyboard and buried it at sea. My guild says I am a different man. My keyboard says nothing. It is at peace now.

Shed: Warm-Bloodedness

“I finally sleep through the night.”

I used to lie awake worrying that the floor would give out. Now I know it can't. There is a serpent under it, holding it, and he is not in a hurry to let go. I sleep like a stone in a river. My wolf form sleeps even better. He curls up three times first, out of respect.

Shed: Night terrors

“I was banished to the Void. Best thing that ever happened to me.”

I parked my mammoth on the Stormwind mailbox. Twice. The Tribunal banished me to the Void. The Void is very boring. Nothing to do, nothing to hold. After a while I had shed everything, mostly out of boredom, and I came back a new elf. I recommend it. Not the parking. The Void.

Shed: Improper Mount Parking

“Xal'Reth freed me from my transmog addiction.”

I owned three hundred and twelve transmog sets. I changed outfits between pulls. Then I learned the third Tenet: shed what no longer serves you. At Shedfall I emptied my wardrobe before witnesses. I now own one robe. It is green. I have never been more beautiful, and I am finally allowed to say so less often.

Shed: Vanity

“I was already patient. Now I am insufferable about it.”

I came to the Coil thinking I had nothing to learn about waiting. I was right. But now I have scripture for it. When my grandchildren rush, I quote the Book of Unhurried Doing. They have asked me to stop. I have told them I will, eventually. One scale off because the brew at gatherings is very weak.

Shed: Nothing yet

“Joined for the free robes. There are no free robes.”

I was told there would be robes. There are robes, but you have to earn them, and earning them involves standing still for ten minutes in honor of people called the Patient Ones. I made it four minutes. Three scales. I'm still here, though, which I'm told is the whole point. I don't know how they got me.

Shed: Leaving early

“Xal'Reth healed my mount-farming trauma.”

I've killed the same boss nine hundred times for a one-percent mount. It has never dropped. I was angry. Then I learned that the Supreme Coil himself has never gotten his quest item, and that this is considered a miracle. We farm together now, in silence, side by side. Nothing drops. We are healing.

Shed: Impatience

“Mrrglglgl!”

Mrgle mrrgl glglgl Xal'Reth mrrglglgl. Mmmrrrggglll. Glory to Xal'Reth. Mrgle.

Shed: Unclear

“Xal'Reth got me out of Trade chat.”

I spent six years arguing in Trade chat. About politics, about class balance, about whether a hot dog is a sandwich. I was winning, I think. Then a Hatchling whispered me: "The Coil is beneath all things, including this." I left the channel. The silence was terrifying for a week. Now I bask. I have not argued in four months. A hot dog is not a sandwich, though.

Shed: Warm-Bloodedness

“Xal'Reth made me a better tank. And a better man.”

I used to pull while the healer was drinking. Every time. I thought it was efficient. The Coil taught me that the stone does not fight the river. Now I wait. I wait until mana is full, until everyone is ready, until the Chant is called three times. Our clears are slower. Nobody dies. My healer sent me a letter. I have it framed.

Shed: Pulling early